Reflections for September 11, 2002

Finding Meaning and Making Connections ... an excerpt

By Janice Fletcher, Counseling Center Director

This morning when I woke up I said a prayer. I thought of other people around the world of different faiths who might also be saying a prayer at this temple, church or mosque, or in their apartments or dorm rooms, or while jogging or driving in their cars.

This morning I also hugged my daughter as she rushed off to school.  She Forgot something and ran back in the house so I got a chance to hug her a second time. I am sharing these two things with you because they underscore that is different to me about this day, September 11.  My reflections are on finding meaning and making connections.

The day’s tragic events are now a part of our shared memory -- our common historical experience -- we lived through that day and this year together. A recent survey found that only about 12 percent of us still feel intense anxiety or depression or grief associated with the events. But we all are changed in some way.

In grief we have to cope with powerful emotions like shock and denial, anger and deep sadness, which we remember from this time last year. In the healing process, we eventually hope to come to a point of acceptance. This is an acknowledgment of pain and hurt in order to survive and move on.  Acceptance is not denial or forgetting or minimizing. We are changed people. The grieving and healing processes change us. We find new understandings of ourselves and what happened in order to move on. As a young boy who lost his father in the World trade center said with simple truth: “to survive is to live every single day.”

Psychologists and therapists focus on a powerful concept in overcoming trauma called resiliency. For healing, the emphasis in resiliency is on identifying strengths, and resourcefulness, and action. This actually sounds very American to me.

To have hope, to believe in ourselves, to find strength, and take action.  Being resilient means looking at where we are today, after last September’s terror and tragedy, and finding meaning and making connection. For some this may include spirituality or political action. I look more closely at myself, think more deeply about my choices, value my time more carefully, and work harder to not miss opportunities with friends and family.